Stoned Sturm
by Ryzaria
Summary: Based off a comic series I do at AW Bunker: follow Stoned Sturm as he gets stoned, has adventures and battles his arch-nemesis...Stoned Hawke! THUNDER! Fifth part up: Sober Adder makes a fateful mistake, while Sami's attacked by an X-Parasite.
1. Prologue

Prologue-Stoned Hawke's TOTALLY Evil Plan  
  
They say that he's the most evil man in the world. They say he lives in a castle so massively evil that even Resident Evil characters back away from its evilness. They say many things about him. However, they can rarely be trusted, as they lie about everything, especially about information. Unless that was a lie.  
  
But in this case, they're correct, and in this massively evil castle, lives Stoned Hawke, the like, TOTALLY most evil dude ever. He is currently sitting in his evil chair in his bedroom, doing evil things.  
  
His bedroom is an interior designer's nightmare, which is good, as Stoned Hawke is evil. First of all, the wallpaper is bright fluorescent pink. But it's not a girly pink. It's an evil pink. This pink wallpaper may have flowers and Barbie paintings on it, with slogans such as "Love everybody" and "Bless this mess," but it's still evil. Just a lighter and TOTALLY pinkier evil, Stoned Hawke assures us.  
  
As for the items in his room, he has the head of a fabled warrior on top of his computer, a very evil thing to do. This fabled warrior went by the name of "G.I. Joe" until Stoned Hawke ripped his head off with his bare hands. Because he's evil. In the computer itself, there is various evil games, such as Solitare and The Sims, where Stoned Hawke delights in drowning, burning and experimenting his Sims in a variety of evil tests. Also, he has his various plans to take over the VG World. That's what he's working on just now. And unfortunately for VG World, this one's actually good. It's TOTALLY RADICAL, DUDE!!!  
  
- - - - -  
  
In the Green Hill Zone area of the Sonic Republic, all was peaceful. The bunny things were hopping, Sonic himself was zooming around the place as though the world was going to end, and Eggman was in court for crimes against humanity. He had one final trump card to play.  
  
"Your honour, technically I'm the only human here, so I cannot be accused for crime against humanity!"  
  
The judge, an old rat thing which looked like it should be dead, sighed. He was expecting that answer, and didn't have a comeback. He was only guilty of animal cruelty, which they were sure he was going to get nailed for. But then he got his lawyer...  
  
"My name is Evil Crab Vader. My client is innocent, and if you don't believe me then..."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!!! RAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"  
  
The courtroom screamed, and Eggman walked free. The first thing he did as he stepped outside was, to prove that he was innocent, to eat one of the bunny things hopping around. Evil Crab Vader sighed. He was going to kill the author for this.  
  
- - - - -  
  
"HAWKE!!! I'M STONED!!!"  
  
Hawke sighed as he chased after Stoned Sturm for the tenth time this week. 'Goddammit,' he thought. 'WHY ME!!!' Someone up there seemed to hear this as, all of a sudden, Stoned Sturm disappeared. Hawke stared for a second, before skipping all around the Black Hole HQ singing "He's gone, he's gone!"  
  
Lash filmed it all, grinning. "I'm sending this in to 'Cosmo Land's most embarrassing COs! 25000G for me! Tee hee!"  
  
- - - - -  
  
Meanwhile, Stoned Hawke looked at his evil plan. Being evil, he had made many alliances with other evil people, and he phoned one up now.  
  
"Hello Ganny!"  
  
"Oh...it's you. What do you want?"  
  
"Your evil help."  
  
"I don't do that anymore. I decided that evil wasn't the way to go for a fulfilling life. So I've gone into the MOVIES!!!"  
  
"...DUDE!!! Have movies even been invented yet?"  
  
"Dunno, don't care! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Catcha later."  
  
"Hello?"  
  
As Ganondorf got off the phone, Zelda called through. "Ganny! We're playing Spin the Bottle now! Wanna play?"  
  
'Ganny' clapped his hands gleefully. "That would be fantastic!"  
  
Zelda winked slyly before walking back through. Ganny sighed. When would he tell her that he was actually...no, he'd never tell her. Ever.  
  
- - - - -  
  
In a cave in the Alara range mountains, a man was meditating. Every person in the world was afraid of him, and little did he know that he'd play an important part in the shaping of the world in the months and years to come. He was Sober Adder, and he was currently meditating to stop the bleeding, while whispering to himself, "Why did I have to go into the bar, why why why, did I have to look at that Budweiser...STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!"  
  
At this, he took a whip and lashed himself four times on the back, a hard thing to do as he had cut off both his hands earlier. He had to use his teeth to hold the whip, then snap his head round so the whip would go round and whap him on the back. Every time he did that, the whip would go shooting out of his mouth, so he'd have to pick it up again with his teeth. And so the cycle continued. Sober Adder sighed. He needed someone to talk to, to pick things up for him, and so on. He went back to his meditating.  
  
- - - - -  
  
So there's the Prologue to Stoned Sturm. I hope you enjoy reading this, and hopefully you'll review it as well! Enjoy! 


	2. Sturm’s master plan to take over Macro L

Chapter 1: Sturm's master plan to take over Macro Land  
  
In a tower, deep in the heart of Black Hole, lived someone almost, but not quite as evil as Stoned Hawke. His name was feared by all except Computer l33t g33ks, who ph34red him. He was thinking of an evil way to take over Macro Land. Because he, too, was evil. And he was Sturm. He decided to authorize his evilness, so he called for his trustworthy servant, Hawke. Hawke was such a good servant, Sturm thought. He was a bit clumsy with sharp objects though, constantly tripping over and nearly stabbing Sturm with them. He's such a butterfingers, he thought. "HAWKE!!! GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!!!"  
  
Hawke slouched through. "By your command, my lord Sturm."  
  
Sturm turned around in an over-dramatic way, and fell over. After getting himself up, he looked menacingly at Hawke, a hard thing to do as Hawke was so emotionless, and looked like he'd kill your grandmother just because he could. Hawke was currently fingering a knife, whistling innocently. "Hawke! Using my brilliant intellect, I have devised a plan that will make all of Macro Land under our control!"  
  
Hawke sighed. "What is it this time?"  
  
Sturm grinned. "Well, the reason we keep losing is, despite my incredible planning and spreading my forces as far as possible, is because everyone else is cheating. Ergo, I got Lash to build us something so amazing! So POWERFUL!!! That even the gods themselves will tremble!"  
  
"I'm atheist."  
  
"Oh...then even the COFFEE MACHINES SHALL TREMBLE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Hawke stared. Sturm usually over-reacted, but never this badly. Maybe he's actually done something competent. "And what is this invention, oh great Sturm?"  
  
Sturm looked dramatically at the camera and said, "This device is called...THE GAMESHARK!!!"  
  
Thunder rolled overhead, a wolf howled, and Hawke blinked. "Huh? Isn't that the thing you used on Fire Emblem because it was too difficult?"  
  
Sturm nodded. "Yeah, but Lash tweaked it. Watch!" He yelled an infantry through and took a small plastic thing out of his cloak. He attached it to the back of the infantry's head, before taking out a complex keypad, and started typing in a code. When he had finished, the infantry stopped what it was doing (which is good, as it was currently picking it's nose), before jerking violently, transforming from an infantry to a Neotank. The whole process took less than three seconds. Hawke gaped openly, and Sturm grinned. "That's not all. Watch this!" before tapping out another odd rhythm on the keypad, before whistling. Another Neotank came into the room and attacked the Neo-formally-known-as-Infantry. Nothing happened, and in return, the Neo that attacked was annihilated.  
  
"This, Hawke, is that new weapon. And stop fingering that knife, you could get hurt!"  
  
As Sturm walked out, Hawke muttered under his breath "Not me I was wanting to hurt."  
  
- - - - -  
  
Outside Stoned Hawke's evil castle, three REALLY evil people lurked. One was Lord Voldemort, or as he friends called him, Tom. Another was Saruman, known to his friends as Saru (he didn't have much imagination at making nicknames). The final one was one of those Spectres from the His Dark Materials trilogy, who was currently draining the life out of one of Tom's slaves. Tom was currently looking evilly at a lamp-post, while Saruman was commanding his Uruk Hai to get him a cheese burger from McDonalds.  
  
"So, why are we here again, Tom?" Saru asked.  
  
Tom looked at him in an evil way, and replied "Because we can, Saru. Because we can."  
  
"BNAAR!!!" the Spectre pondered aloud. He was often considered the most intelligent of the three, mainly because you couldn't understand what he said half the time. It was mostly BNAAR or NYARF, with the occasional RAISINS, in which Tom and Saru backed away, as that meant he was hungry for life.  
  
"Yes, Spectre. That also."  
  
"My name's Alexander," the Spectre snapped.  
  
"Huh?" They were both taken aback by this remark, as Spectre never spoke humanly, unless he wanted to, or was really annoyed.  
  
"My name's Alexander, assholes."  
  
"We never knew that!"  
  
"Well, you never took the time to find out! You just thought I was odd and couldn't string even one syllable together, didn't you. Well, actually, I have a Masters degree in Law, Medicine, Accountancy, Teaching, and Music. I have a wife and three kids, and it's actually time for my dinner. So good day to you all!" And off he went.  
  
The two just stared. "What did he say?" Saru asked.  
  
"I dunno," Tom replied. "Maybe he likes Ferraris"  
  
- - - - -  
  
In the Alara mountain range, something evil stirred as it finished the transportation spell. He grinned as the man he wanted appeared in front of him, staring vacantly. Good, he thought. He's obviously a zombie or a stoner. And sure enough, the first words out of the man's mouth were, "Woah, did I overdose again!? MAN!!!"  
  
The evil thing scuttled out of its place and said simply "No. I have summoned you here."  
  
Stoned Sturm looked at the thing, and asked "Who are you?"  
  
The thing grinned. "I am...THE EVIL CRAB VADER!!! YES, THAT'S RIGHT!!! YOUR LIVES ARE FORFEIT AGAINST MY AWESOME POWER!!! PRAY FOR MERCY NOW!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
Crab Vader stared. "Don't...don't you know who I am?"  
  
"Are you Jeff Vader?"  
  
"NO!!! I'm CRAB VADER!!!"  
  
"Are you Jeff's brother? Could you get me his autograph?"  
  
"NO!!! Oh fine, I'm Jeff Vader!"  
  
"WOW!!! Can I get your autograph?"  
  
Crab Vader sighed, before continuing. "No, you can't. I summoned you here for a special task that only you can do."  
  
"WHEE!!! What is it?"  
  
"You must kill...THE AUTHOR!!!"  
  
More thunder crackled overhead. In a bizarre coincidence, it hit Eggman, who was eating more bunnies. The thunder blast killed him outright. All the people of the Sonic Republic lived happily ever after, until Eggman hit the floor, his weight causing the country to sink below the sea. Now, I expect you to remember this, as it's an important part of the story.  
  
Stoned Sturm, meanwhile, shook his head. "What has he done now?"  
  
Crab Vader replied by muttering under his breath "Stupid author, thinks he can put me in a fic with this stoner! Oh well, I WILL DESTROY HIM!!!"  
  
"Um...why don't you sue him like normal people would? But I guess that would be too simple!"  
  
"DAMN RIGHT, IT WOULD BE TOO SIMPLE!!!. NOW GO!!! Or I'll set Adder on you!"  
  
Stoned Sturm didn't need to be told twice after that last sentence. He was already running as fast as he could out the door of the cave.  
  
Crab Vader grinned manically, before pressing a button. Instantly, the cave transformed from something not even a blind rat would venture into, to a swinging bachelor pad that anyone would die to live in.  
  
"Life is good," he said to no one in particular.  
  
- - - - -  
  
So, there's Chapter the first! Please rate and review!  
  
Thanks VictoryMarch for the ONLY review I got. Yeah, Gandalf set me up to it. Sorry bout that. XD 


	3. Zombie Sami

Chapter 3-Insert good title here  
  
"Like, WOAH!!! My TOTALLY evil plan is nearing completion! DUDE!!!"  
  
Stoned Hawke was grinning as he looked at the army he had managed to assemble in the two chapters that had passed since his last appearance. It was absolutely massive in size, which is also a massive plot hole in itself. How did he get an army that big in such a small amount of time. And another thing-  
  
"GET ON WITH IT!!!"  
  
Ah, sorry. Where was I? Oh, yes. He was currently inspecting his massive army. It was so incredibly big and well trained that none of the armies in VG World could stand up to it. Especially at this early stage of the fic, where no one's heard of him yet. But soon they will all ph34r the name of...STONED HAWKE!!!  
  
"LIKE, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
As he continued his look around the army, he noticed one person looked slightly more...livingly impaired than the rest. And sure enough, when he asked her name, she replied in a dull moan "Braaaaaaaaaaains..."  
  
Now, Stoned Hawke was a professional evil dude, and he knew exactly how to deal with zombies. He screamed in a high-pitched tone, and ran, his arms flailing in the air wildly. The zombie formally known as Sami sighed. "Goddamit. Can't a zombie make a living?"  
  
- - - - -  
  
Zombie Sami was one of the variously strange, rare characters in a fic that shouldn't be there for the simple reason that with them, logic would die forever, the four horsemen would arrive in the fic, and merry hell would ensue. Usually this is because the character is completely insane, but in the case of Zombie Sami, it's the opposite. She's the only character in this fic with any common sense left in her. Of course, she couldn't live, but she was already dead, providing a loophole for her to skip through and take part in this fic.  
  
Unbeknownst to her, she was going to become the heroine of this story, which means she gets to look forward to being kidnapped, emotionally breaking down, and kissing the hero, Stoned Sturm. I'm sure if she knew, she'd wish to be dead again.  
  
- - - - -  
  
Meanwhile, in the FF Kingdom, someone far eviller was busy. But not doing evil things, he was so evil that he didn't need to do them anymore. No, he was running from a legion of fangirls coming behind him.  
  
"OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! SEPHY-SAN KAWAIIIIIIIII!!! "  
  
Sephiroth, the One Winged Angel, the kicker of Aerith's ass, and other odd nicknames, was currently being chased down the street by a rampaging army of fangirls. He sighed, why did he have to be so popular??? He was answered by yells of "KAWAIIIIIIII "  
  
He ran on to a airport. "Huh? I think I could use this airport to my advantage!" he said to no one in particular, before hijacking a two seater plane, piloting it effortlessly, leaving the fangirls trailing behind, screaming blue murder. Sephiroth grinned. He flew on towards Macro Land.  
  
- - - - -  
  
Stoned Sturm had begun his search for the author, but where was he now? Currently, Stoned Sturm was looking in a hotel. This hotel was owned by none other than Hachi, seeing as he owned everything in Macro Land by selling his children to make enough money to buy everything. But just now he was in a bar.  
  
"Anyone seen the author?"  
  
Everyone shook their head. They had no idea who this person was, only that he smelled of cannabis and wore the weirdest clothes imaginable. However, one person suddenly yelled "I KNOW WHO YOU SPEAK OF!!!" Everyone turned to see who this person was, and instantly regretted it, for this was the scariest person in Macro Land.  
  
Stoned Sturm looked at this man. He had no hands or legs, due to self- mutilation. He was trying to balance his glass of water on his lips so he could properly swallow. Yes, this was the scariest man in Macro Land, but still, Stoned Sturm had to ask "Who...are you?"  
  
The man grinned. "Sober Adder's my name. Now, follow me and I'll take you to the author." At this, he looked at the button on his table, and smacked it with his stump. At once, he started hovering two feet above the air. "Come on!"  
  
Stoned Sturm sighed, before following him. He better not be a main character, he thought.  
  
- - - - -  
  
Zombie Sami walked silently through the willow trees surrounding Stoned Hawke's TOTALLY evil lair. Just because she didn't breathe, or defied every law of God, man and death doesn't mean she should be treated differently. Bleh...  
  
This is where she decided to run. So she did. She ran as far as she could from the Lair, and kept on running until her leg fell off. "GODDAMMIT!!!" she yelled. She could reattach legs no problem, it was just that it took ages to do so. She sighed as she took out the superglue. "My life sucks."  
  
- - - - -  
  
As the author finished this incredibly bad chapter, he looked at the amount of reviews he had gotten. "HUH??? TWO!!! Well, that's rather not enough. How can I get more reviews?" He looked at the current review for the second chapter, and grinned. "Yup, I really do have too much time on my hands. Hehehe...ah well."  
  
Then, using his amazing powers, he started to look at the readers and yelled "REVIEW!!!!" Satisfied that would work, he finished the chapter. 


	4. House Invasion

Chapter 3-House Invasion  
  
As the author started the chapter, he decided to check out the amount of reviews he had gotten last chapter. When he saw the number, he almost collapsed in shock. "TWO!!! That's double the amount I got last time! YAY!!!" He was about to start the third part, when a knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. 'Who dare disturb me?' he thought as he answered the door. As he did, he was knocked over by the Sephiroth fangirls who burst into the room, searching under his bed, looking behind posters and even down his toilet, with screams of "SEPHY-SAN!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!"  
  
The author decided to ask the girl which seemed least insane what was going on. But which one? He picked the one in the corner who was looking in places Sephiroth might actually be in (in the wardrobe). "Err...hi? What are you doing in MY HOUSE!!!"  
  
The fangirls stopped and turned as one to face him. One drew a metal lifesize exact replica of the Masamune (only $371892347891278917241 at your local S-Mart) and held it poised at his neck. The girl he was speaking to told them to lower their weapons, and spoke. "I am Princess Blood Berry of the Fangirl nation, and we're searching for Sephiroth-san. We thought he might be here."  
  
"And, WHY here?"  
  
"You are the author, so therefore you control everything in this story. We thought he might come here for protection."  
  
The author grinned slightly, before sitting at his desk and begun typing:  
  
"And then the fangirls left for no reason."  
  
He grinned not so slightly. "You're right. I control this world, for I am the author!"  
  
And then the fangirls left for no reason.  
  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" the author laughed manically, before starting the chapter properly.  
  
- - - - -  
  
"Lash! You said you needed to see me?"  
  
Sturm entered the room, scaring some children as he went. Why? Because he's evil of course. Lash had told him that she had invented something that would guarantee a world takeover, while working with the Gameshark she had created as well. He could only wonder the magnificent power that this could be.  
  
As he walked into the chamber, he saw Adder and Flak were there also. Hawke was nowhere to be seen, probably making throwing knives. He kept throwing them off course, almost hitting Sturm most of the time. He'll need to see Hawke about that.  
  
"Tee hee! I've gathered you all here for the most magnificent invention you'll ever see! BEHOLD, THE INTERNET!!!"  
  
There was a great gasp as she removed the veil covering this 'Internet' to reveal her computer, with a phone line attached to it. "Now, watch carefully," she said, as she clicked the button saying Mozilla. Instantly, a window popped up, with pictures, sounds, light, and shiny things. "I'm applying this to all of the Black Hole computers! We'll be the most technologically advanced country on Macro Land! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I mean...tee hee!"  
  
There was an awed silence. Eventually, Adder broke it with "Does it have porn?"  
  
Lash sighed. No one understood her intellect.  
  
- - - - -  
  
In an unknown part of Macro Land, Stoned Sturm and Sober Adder was walking down the dirt road that separated something from something else. I don't know Geography well. XD . But anyway, they suddenly spied a city off in the distance. Sober Adder rejoiced, there may be water there. Stoned Sturm on the other hand, was collapsing from the lack of drugs in his system. "Need...drugs...beer...anything..."  
  
Sober Adder was naturally horrified. "NO!!! No drugs for you until we get to that city!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
And so they continued their walk to the city.  
  
- - - - -  
  
Meanwhile, the fangirls were chasing up any form of military equipment possible, while the author watched, fascinated. It was amazing how these fangirls could organize themselves so proficiently when they wanted to. They were building an army outside his lawn, and the author could only watch as they procured another rocket launcher for their Mech units. He had even given them a hand hauling some of the heavier equipment to and fro, and they had accepted him as not a threat. He was currently talking with Princess Blood Berry.  
  
"You want ME to lead the invasion?"  
  
Princess Blood Berry nodded. "I think your tactical prowess and the fact you're the author can help us in this war."  
  
"But...me? I thought it was only girls who were allowed."  
  
"No. Look, we have some boys on our team."  
  
He looked. "Cloud?" Cloud Strife was currently rocking in a corner whispering something about Yaoi being the death of him. Also, the other boys were utter nerds who probably came along just because it would mean seeing actual women.  
  
"So, do you accept?"  
  
The author looked at his house, his computer and his life. "Yes. But do you have a computer?"  
  
"I do, why?"  
  
He smiled. "Gotta keep the fic going."  
  
- - - - -  
  
"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THE ANTI SOBER CITY!!!"  
  
Sober Adder and Stoned Sturm were running as fast as they could, after Sober Adder had declared that drink was the root of all evil. They had been promptly chased from the city, and five tanks were on their tail. It didn't look good for our heroes. Soon the tanks would catch up, and then they'd be toast. With cheese on top.  
  
- - - - -  
  
RESPONSE TO REVIEWS  
  
Master of the Phoenix: YAY!!! You added me to favourites! Thank yooooooooooou! XD Victory March: I'll set Adder on you if you do it again. :P But seriously, thank you for the review! worships you both 


	5. The End of Sobriety

Chapter Four: The End of Sobriety  
  
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"  
  
Sober Adder and Stoned Sturm had just been cornered by the tanks from last chapter, and Sober Adder, being the calm soul that he was, had taken to screaming like a girl and running all over the place. Stoned Sturm, on the other hand, looked positively calm, like he wasn't being cornered by killing machines. He smiled beneath the mask. "Time to attack again!"  
  
The first tank came flying (metaphorically speaking) at him. He took one of his most valued cigarettes and threw it straight at the turret. Instantly the tank stopped moving, as the drivers started hacking and coughing, fighting to get out of the smokey tank.  
  
Four more cigarettes later, and the battle was over. What? You were expecting something better?  
  
- - - - -  
  
Meanwhile, in Orange Star, the more living Sami was lying, recovering after an operation that almost killed her. But it was better than not having the operation and definitely dying. The doctor walked through with an air of 'I'm so much better than you, and DON'T YOU KNOW IT!!!' and swaggered to the side of her bed.  
  
"Sami, the operation was a success. We've successfully removed the X- Parasite."  
  
The infantry specialist smiled, before suddenly frowning. "But...doesn't that merit an act of war from the Metroid continent?"  
  
The doctor, who had taken his Medical course in the Metroid continent, shook his head. "No, this is probably a loose X-Parasite. However, we couldn't kill it. It's still around, and it's mimicking you with its awesome cloney ability thingies!"  
  
"Hmm...you have no idea what the word is, do you."  
  
"Something like Mimesis...but yeah. Anyway, I have decided to name this clone the SAMI-X, because I can, and because you're gonna have to hunt it down. You can use this strange contraption that Lash gave us. She calls it a 'Laptop'. It has the entire map of Macro Land, and indeed all of VG World. Good luck Sami."  
  
And with that, the doctor swaggered again, this time out of the surgery. There was a long silence, followed by a loud "FUUUUUUUUU-"  
  
- - - - -  
  
The author decided it was time to look at the reviews on But just as he was about to log on, he heard a cold, dark voice say "Human, where is the Orange Star HQ?" His head snapped round to see Sami. But it wasn't Sami, as her eyes were completely white, and Sami didn't refer to people as 'Human'. Yes, this was the SAMI-X! Time for a DRAMATIC MOMENT!!!  
  
"DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!"  
  
Thank you, SFX man.  
  
"Don't mention it."  
  
Anyway, the author, despite controlling the entire world, couldn't help the fact he was a dumbass. "Macro Land. We're headed there just now. Want to come with us?"  
  
The SAMI-X nodded evilly. Unlike Stoned Hawke, or Sturm, who were evil, and bragged about it at evil clubs, the SAMI-X didn't need to brag. She had more of a Crab Vader evil about her. Evil radiated off her. She gave off the feeling that she could kill everyone in the Fangirl army in a matter of minutes. And she knew that, but she contented with killing the original Sami. But when pushed, she could control the world in half a minute. Of course, she still went to the evil clubs, and usually had to break a few necks of the boys who thought they stood a chance with her. But that was the bad thing about being an evil woman. The men take you for granted. She should join an evil union.  
  
- - - - -  
  
Meanwhile, at Crab Vader's lair in the Alara mountain range.  
  
"Get lost, I ain't doing anything interesting!"  
  
Oh, ok.  
  
- - - - -  
  
Stoned Sturm and Sober Adder were currently arguing about how to deal with that city that sent the tanks their way.  
  
"I THINK WE SHOULD KILL THEM ALL!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Stoned Sturm exclaimed.  
  
Sober Adder hit back with "It's the drugs! They make you violent! THE DRUGS DON'T WORK!!!"  
  
Stoned Sturm froze. Sober Adder had insulted the drugs, and now there was only one fate that Sober Adder had now. Death.  
  
"THE DRUGS DO WORK!!! DIE!!!"  
  
There follows a horribly painful and bloody violence scene that, if I wrote, the fic would have to be bumped up to an R. Plus, it's not suitable for anyone. So you'll have to imagine. Let's just say the end involved Stoned Sturm ripping Sober Adder's head off.  
  
"That'll teach him a lesson."  
  
- - - - -  
  
The author was currently staring out of the window of the private vehicle that he owned. Due to the fact it was his idea to take SAMI-X with him, she was forced to share the carriage with him. She was currently looking at the author in a menacing way. She had a sort of white-eyed, evil beauty, the author thought. But she was still evil.  
  
"Err...so why are you going to the Orange Star Hospital?"  
  
SAMI-X replied simply "To kill the original version of me."  
  
"Ah. Right."  
  
And the vehicle moved on to the Macro Land area.  
  
- - - - -  
  
REVIEW RESPONSES!!!  
  
VM-You've been warned. But thanks for the favourite adding! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
MotP-Yes, my disciple. Thank you for the nice review. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!! 


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